Why It Takes So Damned Long To Create Trust

Social media is not exempt from the natural laws of cause and effect.

If you want each person to be touched once, very lightly, then only a little effort is needed. But if you want those people to trust you, then a proportionately greater amount of effort is required.

Why it takes so damned long to create trust

The reason why things like trust and loyalty require a significant amount of time and effort is because you’re dealing with people, not ones and zeros.

And regardless of how rapidly media technology changes and evolves, people will always be the constant.

What do you think?

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  1. I think in this day and age people are often less trusting because they come into contact with so many people daily be it in real life or in the virtual world.

    I agree that relationships do take time to build up and I have seen time and time again trusting relationships being built between people who have never met in real life. Generally it takes a bit of time, but every now and then you hit the right chemistry with someone and the trust starts right away.

  2. Engaging people in relationship, whether you do it via face-to-face, through email, FB, Twitter, or some combination, does take time. BUT. But, what can significantly move the trust needle quickly is if you find that you have something in common with the other person. It’s a way to significantly establish rapport, credibility, and finally, trust. Sometimes instantly. Whether it’s a mutual friend, a common alma mater, or that you simply like the same obscure Canadian folk singer. It doesn’t really matter. But it can allow for instant credibility.

    John, you are part of a great example I use quite often. I’d been following you for several months when I stumbled upon one of your friends/collegues: Grant Griffiths. I was intrigued by Headway and his business and started following him. At some point he posted something about being at a coffee shop here in the town I live. That’s odd, I thought. I live in Manhattan, Kansas. Surely there’s not a same-named place in Manhattan, NY? So I sent him a message and find out he lives in a small town about 20 miles from where I’m sitting. In Kansas.

    The fact that Grant and I both had trust in you, John, and that you are a reasonably credible person, went a long ways to establishing connection. Now, don’t get me wrong. Grant and I aren’t best buds yet. But I expect that once we can ever find a time to sit down and have coffee, we’ll be fast friends.

    But I would also say that a great fertilizer for a trusting relationship is consistency. Day in, day out you are the person you say you are.

    1. Clay – I love your point about finding mutual interests. And this is something technology can help with! On Twitter, for example, I find people with similar interests via search. A huge time-saver!

      I’m glad I could connect you and Grant. He needs a lot of help… ;-)

  3. John great post) Trust takes time to development. All good relationships in life take time to develop and cultivate. Thanks for sharing:)

  4. Great post! Trust, like most things in life, takes time and work. I think social media and technology has made it even more difficult to develop a strong level of trust, due to the anonymous nature of the internet. People have become more skeptical of who is actually on the other end of the line, and what their true motives are. As a result, nonprofits and people just trying to do good have an increasingly harder time gaining others’ trust.

    I think one of the best solutions to developing trust is just open honesty and transparency. It is always refreshing when someone is open and truthful about their mission, ESPECIALLY when they have done something wrong. Trust and relationships take time and work, but the benefits are obviously well worth it.

    1. @Vinod_Kamath:disqus I couldn’t agree with you more – especially about being truthful when you’ve done something wrong. Sincerely and humbly taking responsibility demonstrates strength, a willingness to listen and learn.